Songbook

Sing Out Loud, Sing Out Strong

A good hash involves activity (vigorous or otherwise), the golden nectar, conviviality, and friends. A great hash includes all of those things PLUS SINGING!!!

Maybe you haven’t sung since you were in middle school choir and you think, Oh lawd! I can’t hold a note. Trust us, that’s not a problem.

Music City’s signature tune is listed below, along with some links to other canonical songbooks (and tunes we love).

Got one to add? Email us!

BALL GAME

Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it peanuts and crackerjack
I don’t care if you give it a whack ’cause it’s
Beat your meat at the ball game
If you don’t cum it’s a shame
It’s one, two,
You’re covered in goo
At the old ball game!

BLESSING OF THE HARES

Optional prayer offered by the RA before the hash, with local embellishments. This version is from Tampa H3.

Bless these hares!
Bless this trail,
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Plenty of cold beer to drink,
Coitus non interruptus.

THE BUTTON FACTORY

(No melody, more of a chant with a fast, steady beat)

CHORUS:

Hi, my name is Joe,
And I work at the button factory,
Got a wife, three kids – all brats,
And the boss he says to me:
He says, “Joe, are you busy?”
I say, “No.”
He says, “Push this button with your __________”

WORDS & ACTIONS:

Left finger
Right finger
Left toe
Right toe
Nose
Big fat ass
etc . . .

LAST CHORUS:

Hi, my name is Joe,
And I work at the button factory,
Got a wife, three kids – all brats,
And the boss he says to me:
He says, “Joe, are you busy?”
I say, “YES!”

FATHER ABRAHAM

Usually done as a warm-up song prior to departing for the hash
(Melody – Itself)

Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons,
And seven sons had Father Abraham,
And he never smiled,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this – With a right!

All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right arm)

Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons,
Seven sons had Father Abraham,
And he never smiled,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this – With a right!

All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right arm)

Leader: And a left!

All (shout/actions): And a left! (extend left arm)

More verses/actions:
With a right! (extend right leg)
With a left! (extend left leg)
And a HEEEE! (hump pelvis)
And a HUUHH! (turn around, drop pants, moon pack)

HE’S THE MEANEST

(Melody – Itself – similar to Okinawa HHH melody)

He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis,
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass.

Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.

So drink chug a lug, chug a lug, chug a lug . . .

HERE’S TO BROTHER (SISTER) HASHER

Melody – Ach, Du Lieber Augustin
Contributed by ZiPpy, Pike’s Peak H4

Here’s to brother (sister) hasher,
Brother hasher, brother hasher,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

He’s happy, he’s jolly,
He’s fucked up by golly,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

HIS ONE-SKIN

(Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.

Roll back, roll back,
Roll back his foreskin for him, for him.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back his foreskin for him.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN

(Melody – Swing Low, Sweet Chariot)
Note: gestures accompany words

Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I’m coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.

(repeat with variations: humming and gestures only, silence and gestures only, double-time, women’s version, Scooby-Doo version, men’s version)

HERE’S TO ________ (BASIC DOWN-DOWN SONG)

(Melody – Itself)

VERSION # 1

Here’s to [hash name] ,
He’s true blue,
He’s a Hasher,
Through and through,
He’s a pisspot,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way,

Drink it down, down, down . . .

THE MAYOR’S DAUGHTER

The Mayor of Bayswater has got a lovely daughter
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

CHORUS:
One black one, one white one
and one with a bit of shite on,
and one with a little light on,
TO SHOW US THE WAY!

If she was my daughter I’d cut them a little shorter
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

CHORUS

I’ve felt it, I’ve smelt it, it’s just like a piece of velvet
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

CHORUS

I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, I’ve been in between it
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

CHORUS

It would take a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

CHORUS

She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees.

MEET THE HASHERS

(Melody – Flintstones Theme)

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the, town of [YOUR TOWN],
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down!

SHITTY TRAIL

(Melody – The Mickey Mouse Club)

S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L,
Shitty trail, (It sucked!)
Shitty trail, (It blew!)
I’d rather [insert gross thing you’d rather do],
Than run your shitty trail,
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L.

SOLDIER SONG

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, country and for king,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

TAKE IT IN YOUR HAND MRS. MURPHY

Melody – Itself

Take it in your hand, Mrs. Murphy
For it only weighs a quarter of a pound
It’s got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble, gobble, gobble!)
And it spits when you shake it up and down …Down, down, down, down.

THERE WAS A LITTLE BIRD

(Melody – Itself)

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck,
And shit about a peck,
He puckered up his little asshole.
(point at violators): Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON

Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Him, him, fuck him!

Drink it down, down, down . . .

THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG

(Melody – Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Aay)
Contributed by Nose Candy

This is your Down-Down song,
It isn’t very long. . . .

TODAY IS MONDAY

Leader: Today is Monday!
All: Today is Monday!
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)

CHORUS:

Leader: Is everybody happy?
All: You bet your ass we are!
All: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming) Doo doo dat doo dat doo dat doo, Doo doo dat doo dat doo dat doo!

Leader: Today is Tuesday!
All: Today is Tuesday!
Leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
All: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)

CHORUS

(now that you’ve got the idea, here are the rest of the days)

Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers) (also “her favorite day”)
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions, cheering, happiness)
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions, cheering, happiness)day of rest
Sunday is a day of rest… aw nevermind! (repeat all verses)

(modify as needed for local hashing day, etc . . .)

TWENTY TOES

(Melody – Itself)

There is a game called twenty toes,
That’s played around the town,
Women play with ten toes up,
And men with ten toes … down down down down down down….

WHY ARE WE WAITING?

(Melody – Come Let Us Adore Him)

(used when a down-down is excessively long)

Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL

(Melody – Itself)

Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all?
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s only got one ball!

Him, him, fuck him!

Drink it down down down down…

You Fill Up My Anus

(Melody – “Annie’s Song”)

You fill up my anus
Like Grandma’s Douchebag with vinegar,
Like a Boston creme donut,
Like a chocolate eclair!
Like a porn star from ‘Frisco,
Like a virgin with Crisco,
You fill up my anus,
Come fill me again!

Ziggy Zaggy…

The purpose of the ziggy-zaggy chant is to point out breaches in circle etiquette – members of the circle point at the offender and repeat chant loudly:

Ziggy Zaggy Ziggy Zaggy
OY OY OY
Ziggy Zaggy Ziggy Zaggy
OY OY OY
Drink it down, down, down

. . . and so on until offender completes a down-down . . . alternatively, the ziggy-zaggy chant can be performed whenever someone screws up a verse in a hash song (of course, the offending singer must immediately do a down-down while the pack chants). There are several substitutes for “ziggy-zaggy” if you get bored with the basic chant, as in:

Shiggy shaggy, shiggy shaggy,
Oi, Oi, Oi!

Motorcycle, motorcycle,
Vroom, Vroom, Vroom!

Locomotive, locomotive,
Choo, Choo, Choo!

Helicopter, helicopter,
Whirl, Whirl, Whirl! (or Whop, Whop, Whop!)

Submarine, submarine,
Glug, Glug, Glug!

Motorcar, motorcar,
Beep, Beep, Beep!

Telephone, telephone,
Ring, Ring, Ring!

 

Thank you to Flying Booger’s Hash Hymnal and the Chicago Hash for letting us steal their work.

More hymnals

Chicago H3 Hash Hymnal

Flying Booger’s Hash House Hymnal

Sir Walter Raleigh H3 Hash Songs