VETS AND VETS AND VETS OH MY
Hares: Tampon, Prince Fungus Amongus
Beer Truck: Pro Blow
So there we were, following the GPS directions to the on-start in Old Hickory – wait – is it in Hendersonville? Down the boat ramp? THERE WERE TRUE TRAIL SIGNS which most people were able to find. (Thanks, hares.) A sizeable contingent of Clarksville Governators made it down to support Prince Fungus Amongus’ haring debut at Music City. Tampon, gimpy co-hare that he is, bailed at the first beer stop to auto-hare the remainder of the way.
After mounting the first hill slope slipperyface, there was a downside … and then an upside … and then a downside and then we heard the giant sucking sound of MUD. Mudmudmudmud. Our 6 (!) out-of-state visitors were impressed with the scenery and even nearly had an encounter with local wildlife, riding a tractor and letting us know we were on private property. To be fair to the hares, the “no trespassing” signs were facing the road and not the back of the property – so maybe those property owners better mark more carefully next time!
The majority of the pack hit the first beer stop and then waited for the stragglers to catch up. Lick Her Aguan went back to guide the DFLs through the contested territory and two minutes after the DFLs arrived at the first beer stop, we were on-on again. (“But I just got here!”)
The second beer stop was on more solid ground, in a neighbourhood where people are just NOT accustomed to having lots of people in weird garb walking and running along the side of the road. However, one local was friendly enough to sell a beer to Sexual Healing for a dollar, who deemed it colder than the actual hash beer (and her favourite flavour, too – Miller Lite!)
Clitterbug humped trail wearing a walking boot and went through three prophylatics trying to keep the damn thing from becoming wet. She said it helped to get a toehold in the first hill climb because she could just “shove it in the mud and use it as an anchor”.
At the on-in, we were kindly asked by the bar owner to move off of his bar property and onto his other adjacent property (“it’s not my rules, it’s beer board rules”) which resulted in moving the group about 5 different times. Also, in the Flush Knows Everyone in Nashville Department, the bar owner also happens to be a contractor who has worked for Flush before.
There were three veterinarians on trail, as well as multiple veterans – leading to the name of the hash, Vets and Vets.
Beer stops – shot stops – mud – shiggy – inquisitive locals – strange looks – trail treasure – beautiful scenery – a great and shitty time was had by all!
(Song sung by Sit Stay Squirt from San Diego H3 at end circle – thanks for the great tune!)
You’re a Shitty Hare
Tune: Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Notes: Sung to hares for shit-tastic trails. Written by Krusty the Meat Miser.
You should’ve used more flour or chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck
You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot… on trail… (NOTE: Show tits)
You’re drinking a lot!
Ohhh, there was no beer out there
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
Take some flour, and use it on trail
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
You’re a shitty hare! (NOTE: Simulate 80s hair band awesomeness)
